#dumbass space knight wizard dude

[jimmy-carmine]

So was anybody going to tell me that the Japanese Destiny 2 trailer was a giant dance party, or was I supposed to just wait 7 years for the algorithm to suggest it to me

[jimmy-carmine]

Jimmy would definitely be a Patrol Vendor for the EDZ. I'd imagine him to be like Petra and showing up in a different area each week on rotation, with a whole bunch of Red War reminiscent patrol zone missions to help take back the EDZ for Devrim and the Farm

please share specific in tags, I'm very curious 👀

[pokefanbri]

"Home is where the heart is" I dont have to tell you where that lies. But its only part of the pain. I know in my heart I'm a good person, but my life has been in shambles since I was young. Theres many like me, that dont deserve the life they were given & yet somehow persevere through it just to survive & try to be happy through the pain.

How I ask do I deserve not to be happy. I feel there was no justice for me, I was dishonorably discharged lol. I was truly happy where I was, but even if i were to travel place to place...that is also in my blood, not just the place I resided.

I was at home, I was at peace, I truly loved everyone there & every second. But do I dare go there again, absolutely in a heartbeat. But this is what kills me, Part of me says "this is your life now, accept it, push through even if u can't" the other part of me says that ill be white knighted with a bust through the door like the kool-aid man & he says "sike, yea i fucked it up & didn't realize I had something special, will u forgive me" 😅

But i know that could just be my imagination & im overthinking again. But where actually is my life headed? I have a good heart, i care so much about those thats affected me even in a bad way...but maybe that's God's love showing right through me, because I forgive easy & help those that need it. My brother says that a "helper" is equivalent to a partner in crime & all aspects, a soul mate. He throws the word around with this subject, but he's also trying to find his forever helper which he believes is the mother of his 1st born children. Thats great, given the right circumstances & if her situation was better, yea they could probably try.

For me, caring & trust is my biggest downfall. Because i do so much for others b4 myself, I end up taken advantage of or at least feeling like it. Even if its not the case, the wrong thats been done to me all my life..made me this way. I cant help that. And to find someone that I trusted fully, only to find out that I couldn't. That breaks a person like me down & actually hurts to the core. I didnt deserve that, but it was the disservice that was thrust upon me without a 2nd thought. I wasn't given the proper chance to love someone because they refused to love me back & yea most of the time it was about them...but thats a leo for ya 😅

When someone shares it mutually, everyone wins, you're complete, u have that "helper" you've been longing for all your life. The good times that were shared, the humorous banter, doing something for the other just cuz u can & cuz u want to, showing eachother off to friends & family like "yea thats my babe right there" as if to say they were happy u were there,the best friend & sidekick that everyone needs...it was all gone in a blink of an eye. Leading on my heartstrings, making me fall harder & harder, the friendship to the end even, all for nothing. But because of all the positives, thats what gets me, it's why my pain is so confusing. Why was it all like that if not on purpose whether for a positive reason I have yet to understand, to make it easier for them not to deal without regard for the others feelings, or cause God making me suffer more through it to make me stronger...when I thought I was done with low struggles already.

Idk man, I just dont understand. But because of what my life has been like over the past half of the year, all the positives makes me want more...because I never got all of him in the 1st place. I always wanted more because he held himself back & on purpose. So maybe it did seem like attachment, but only cuz I longed for the same feeling in return & didnt give up trying to find it..literally any sign of it. I was trying to figure his sweet ass out & learn what kind of person he really was lol, so I could accommodate to him more especially in the last weeks I was sweating my ass off 😆 I was dedicated so much I was willing to change what wasn't liked on the outside. Like I wanted to do so much to keep the best thing i had, cause deep down I knew his old feelings fizzled out quick & I just didnt understand & I still dont. I mean I guess I understand if he wasn't ready for a commitment? And that's fine, but he committed b4 & when I was brought there. What is it that was so wrong about me, that negative thoughts festered so much about someone it makes u think someone else is the problem, when its not the case at all.

Theres nothing i can think of, nothing else i could've done to show my worth, that I wasn't a waste of time. Maybe I pushed too hard? But in those last few weeks I gave space & focused on myself & my tasks at hand with so much more effort to have some kind of a chance, to save what was precious to me..save someone else that couldn't rise up on their own. & i blew it somehow. I was told i settled, but that was the point from the beginning that we both agreed upon. I think it was just that the other was getting comfortable with someone around & it scared em..to where they couldn't do all they wanted in life along with dealing with someone else at the same time. Or possibly felt 1 or the other wasnt good enough for the other & felt inadequate or unequiped. And searching for someone else to fill a void they already had at home, thats another thing that befuddles me. The last time I saw him, it didn't look or sound like he cared, avoided eye contact til he drove off & my heart sank even more as I knew it might be the last time I ever saw him. I was too pissed & in the heat of the moment flipped him off til he was out of sight, but after...i wanted to die right then & there but my best friend was there & we were on a deadline just as he was. If I were alone & my friend wasn't there, I'd be sobbing in that parking lot for hours til someone found me.

They, he, had it all but lost it due to their own negligence, in my opinion.

I mean come on whats not to like about me that didn't go hand in hand with what they were searching for.

The perfect heritage to match his (Templin Germany the 7th largest region) with some jew blood, same interests & hobbys, outlook on life, the lucky number, a good & gentle soul with a love for God. Passion for travel, soft spot for bald eagles, the dream of becoming a parent 1 day, intellectually & gamer gifted, both loves BLT sandwiches...because i da snack too 😏, both have the same middle name but spelled differently & 30yr olds with same hs class year, I have 3 hansome brothers & he has 3 beautiful sisters. I mean Dafuq? Lol. We're total opposites & literally residing NE to SW of the country, 1 grew up well the other not so much...yet we still were able to find eachother....somehow? Bro how about u try the other half of the yr here, 6 month equivalent & finish 2020 the right way huh lol BET 😂 oh man. A girl can dream though can't she?

I have a college writing level & training in business, musical theater, massage therapy (which was the fav), veterinary tech college training in hs, 7 years of choir under my belt since 5th grade including after hs in multiple churches & my choir teachers wedding. I Iove animals, likes to paint, great with technology, listen to music & sing along to every word almost exact, family oriented, a gaming & content creating wizard, passion for helping people, can organize & clean the shit out of anything, can be the boss when i feel the need as well as the spunk & charisma to push forward at any given task. I can multitask & can get shit done if I set my mind to it, if there's something or someone I need to feel purpose to be my best self, yea & if I'm accepted, that's purpose enough right there to get my ass moving.

Yea, jumbling alot of shit in my early life made me crack under the pressure but only cuz i really went over the top & burnt out. But ive relaxed alot since then & am treated for my ailments, ive learned to do things to pace myself now to prevent a psychosis from ever happen again.

Ive said this b4, there was 1 other that also broke up with me...1st time it ever happened the other way around mind u, was also a Leo.. shocker lol. After only 3 months & of me saying the L word too quick...it was what finally broke me, what added ontop of everything else. I was living in my own apt since hs & after school a yr later at 19..he lived in the same apt complex & worked where i did. We hit it off really well & loved talking to eachother at work, almost the same humorous & smart personality with a passion for gaming, dead ass great driver, skinny & ample where it counted, & yea also a weed enthusiast 😅 all of it pretty much the same as the recent one in my life. Honestly thinking about it now they probably would've been great friends lol. Thomas was his name, but I was in a relationship at the time of meeting him as well. But I didn't pursue anything til that relationship blew up in my face just cuz my current bf's grandfather was my boss & saw how well Thomas & i got along as friends, associated it with cheating, & that was that. Tom could be mine after all lol, chips fell into place on their own after he professed his feelings to me on his MySpace blog so damn smoothly lol 😂 Saying there was a girl he liked, i commented on it, he asked me out, that was trap lol, but it worked lol. The chemistry was 🔥

But yea, we had alot fun together & he was completely chill with me. But after it ended it set something off in me. Ended up in a psych ward for 2-3 weeks, little did I know he was worried sick & had no idea where i was or how to visit. I wasnt allowed to have my phone but the persons number I knew by heart, was the previous guy b4 tom, the chubby aloof dumbass that was my 1st love lol. Tom hated him with a passion cuz this dude wasn't a man that treated me fairly, pushed onto me by his family for me to take care of, shelter & feed him mooching off of me & taking advantage of a comfortable place to live at 1 point. When i was in the hospital, my 1st was the 1 to pick me up. When I got back from the hospital I learned of how tom was worried & he gave me a big hug. But by that point I was back with the 1st...somehow that happened & I actually don't remember what brought it on cuz my memory throughtout those weeks was dowsed in medication...but Thomas was the one heartbroken instead of me this time cuz he actually did want me back, the fact I took this other guy back over him, a person he despised...was terrible to him & he severed all ties, moved away. He broke up with me, technically it was okay as so i thought to see someone else regardless if it was an ex or not. i didn't know I had another chance at all.

But anyway, the difference between the 2 leo Ts, 1 let me in completely, cared about me as much as i did for him in same way & the L word too soon is what did it in for him after 3 months 🤷‍♀️ The other T well..unfortunately 1 sided for the most part despite how well we clicked, i was faithful & the other tried not to be after 3 months & hid things due to his own insecurities, pulling me along for another 3months when I didn't have to do jack for him at all after that point, but I did. I might've said the L word too soon with him as well idk. But because I'm a different person than I was then, there's no psychotic break...its just the depressed feeling of defeat with the mix of the longing i still have for him.

Wtf is it with T names & the number 3!? ffs! 😫 Briana Leigh Templin BLT, Bri Loves...whoever Tfuk 🤣

I cant write anymore today, I gotta leave tomorrow. My brother wants me to work for him instead & make more money, in a team that would be like in an office space, basically an assistant but making calls & checking in with clients within his real estate, solar, etc businesses.

But idk, I just got my foot in the door with something else. If I let go of that, for something that could or could not be bad for me, then what do I do? Neither of them sound any less stressful, bryans idea however earns more money & would have me dealing with stuff I like to do in regards to skills maybe? Idk man, idk. It'd a tough call.

My point in writing this, nothing accept to show how much I thought he was perfect for me, just as he originally thought about me. These are all thoughts going through my mind, get them out of my head. To talk openly the way I am, its therapeutic. But I miss him so damn much, not sure when this feeling will go away. I still love him & even dare I say trust him,even through his lying ass faults & idk why, i shouldn't but i do...thats the powerful effect he had on me. Still waiting on the last promise to be friends, im giving space, venting here instead of to him cuz i wouldn't want to be that much of an annoyance. I was going to include more but it'd be dark & negative,& im not about outing the worst in people especially if he was a good guy for the most part...no that wouldn't be right, probably deserves it to be honest..but no. I still wanna do right by him. That's all for now

[jimmy-carmine]

Replaying Lightfall missions, and this moment is just absolute spaceballs

It always makes me laugh how you go from generic action hero pose to 'bloody hell!' in a couple of seconds. I think this is second only to the point in the Witch Queen campaign where you wake up in a crater on Mars (a cutscene which you can't seem to get to replay when you replay the intro mission)

I am dumbass space wizard dude and nothing could go wrong transmatting onto the outside of the ship instead of inside

I 100% head-canon this as my dude being in such a rush he didn't think about how he was getting to the ship to back Osiris up, he just jumped straight in and worked it out along the way

[jimmy-carmine]

Today, I am mostly getting excited for new armour and shaders letting me make a new version of my Guardian. I'd stopped playing Destiny 1 with the Taken King expansion and didn't get into Destiny 2 until Lightfall/Season of the Deep.

This is my first serious foray into PvP since Halo Reach was the big thing, and I'm really enjoying the gameplay for Destiny 2. It feels challenging, fun but also fair.

Meet the oh-so imaginatively named Jimmy, I nearly always try and create a SI anytime a game lets me customise a character. After all, what's a power fantasy if I don't get to live it.

As I couldn't port my Destiny 1 Titan (an Awoken Jimmy) to Destiny 2, this Human Jimmy is a new-light from after the Red War in my head-canon.

With no idea what's really been going on prior to his ressurection, and folk getting him muddled with the Young Wolf on occasion isn't helping. What do you mean I've killed multiple gods before? Who's Oryx? Savathun only counts as one, right? He's secretly convinced the Drifter is responsible for this, because he knows it winds him up.

Jimmy refuses to recognise his daddy-issues, and claims he is just concientious and dutiful as an explanation for him throwing himself into missions, and is nothing to do with his desparate need for approval from the Titan-Tower-Trinity that is Commander Zavala, Lord Shaxx and Lord Saladin.

His Ghost, Buddy, just gives him a stern look whenever his denials get too effusive.

[jimmy-carmine]

Holster Envy

Lord Shaxx and I have similar looking leg armour, complete with unarmoured right thigh. Only Lord Shaxx gets to strap an awesome looking holster to his armour for his hand cannon, and I have to make do with a basic maglock to the back of my belt

I am furiously envious about this and think he should share the source of his amazing fashion choices. I imagine he would just laugh at this sort of statement and tell me to go back to the Crucible

But seriously, is this a set of armour you can get in game?

[jimmy-carmine]

THERE ARE COSMIC SPACE CATS ON THE SPACESHIP! 😻😻😻😻

[jimmy-carmine]

Aw yiss! Just had a run of the Coil followed by an excellent Fireteam Finder of Starcrossed on Legendary to unlock a new Title…

Not that I can bring myself to drop the Iron Lord title 😅 I’m a little too invested in this character’s hero worship of Iron Lords of ages past to do that

Time to go do boring housework, while wishing I was grinding out assorted Bosses and Champions in the Defiant Battlegrounds for Moments of Triumph

[jimmy-carmine]

Not that I’m really wanting that Iron Lord title, but I’ve broken out the notepad and invoked the powers of the immaterium to help 🤣

[jimmy-carmine]

Maybe I should get sinus infections more often. The neon gunge seems to be a source of great paracausal power... or at least that's my excuse for how I've been crushing it this weekend on my Destiny to do list!

Not only did I finally crush Calus on Legendary, I did it solo! Not only that, but my first Flawless Solo Master Lost Sector!

No unreliable LFG for Jimmy, just a certainty in my own power... he says as he inevitably goes crawling back towards LFG on his belly like a snake. Guardian's are stronger together right?

Guardian Rank 8 though! I never ranked on Season of Defiance, I started so late in the season that Season of the Deep started before I even completed the New Light quest, "A Guardian Rises." to hit Rank 2. I've managed Rank 6 in Deep, 7 in Witch, and in keeping with this it feels good to crack 8 on Wish. Will I hit 9 before seasons end?

It's not impossible, I'll need some help though. Hopefully this Clan malarky will help there, a good run at a GM Nightfall could cross half of those off the list in one fell swoop

The Raids and Dungeons will perhaps require some Sherpa assistance. Time to pay those lovely Guardians over at r/DestinySherpa a visit to see what aid I can find

Though this isn't my main goal for the time being. I've set aside my clipboard and notepad for the time being and I've got something a little more fancy for my next brightly coloured list

A spare journal cover from a Destiny 1 Collectors Edition with a graph paper softcover journal slipped in one side and a stick down elasticated pen holder to finish the job

Sadly the pen holder elastic doesn't stretch far enough for the multicoloured pen, so Rosetta Stone pen it is instead. With graphing paper, I imagine it'll be a lot easier to keep my text size consistant

[jimmy-carmine]

So, some problems accessing D2 today so I instead decided to go back in time 10 years to where it all began

This may be the first time in a very long time that I've used my Xbox, given my inability to find the controller

This guy is still kicking around. Having missed out on the character transfer from D1 to D2, I've let this guy retire. The character is always there if I want to use it, but headcanon is he's out at Lady Efrideet's pacifist retreat, exploring better ways to use his Void Light beyond slaughtering Fallen, Vex, and Cabal.

He's having a great time...

Less so this guy, I really wish I could hold down the Screenshot button on Xbox like I can with Steam, there was an amazing bit of sideye your character gives the Speaker while he's mid-speech

Hello, I am familiar looking dumbass space wizard dude, I sure hope nothing bad happens to this fancy tower and the room where I keep all my stuff

So, I've gone back and created my D2 Titan in D1, I know my original headcanoning was that he was a post-Red War New Light, but I decided to go full George Lucas and retroactively change everything!

That's right, I was The Young Wolf the whole time!

This also gives me a great excuse to play The Taken King and Rise of Iron, which I missed out on first time around as I had drifted away to offline gaming due to my housing at the time not really having much in the way of useful internet

I've clocked in about 7 hours of Destiny this evening (which wasn't the plan for tonight) and I'd forgotten how different the game felt from Destiny 2. Not that it detracted from my enjoyment, it felt like no time at all had passed and I was back at it again... a feeling probably helped by the fact I ran the D2 Sepiks Prime strike yesterday so the D1 version felt very familiar

I'd forgotten how much I loved the original Tower, and the nostalgia when I was in Orbit or Warping my way to Venus/Mercury for the TTK Solar quest was incredible

I think I'm going to enjoy popping back to this every now and then

[jimmy-carmine]

Had an Eververse Engram drop after hitting the big 400, and out popped this lovely little sparrow

A bit bright and shiny but once I grimed it up good with a shader it suddenly seemed vaguely familar to me

Now I know my brain has a habit of making tenuous connections over the most minor of similarities but with that long nose and the dirty cream and red markings, my brain was all but screaming at me

Is this the coolest Starfighter in Science Fiction, or is nostalgia from seeing the T-65s doing the Trench Run in the cinema as a small child blinding me to its flaws

It don't matter really, my T-65 Sparrow has just become my current favourite swoop bike for bombing around on. It looks hella fast when you're on that needle

[jimmy-carmine]

I do love it when there's a moment of levity with randoms in matchmaking

Two Titan's and a Hunter taking a moment out of the chaos of the Lightfall Legendary Campaign to enjoy a campfire

[jimmy-carmine]

I now have a Hunter version of my Destiny OC, an AU of an OC if you like. Like Titan Jimmy as went for a Luke Skywalker circa A New Hope vibe, if only to enjoy the power fantasy of having my hairline back. 😅

Unlike the Titan this Jimmy doesn't have any issues with removing his helmet in public. Though, these are from the end of the Shadowkeep campaign where you always reveal your face regardless of your settings, if only because the Witness wants to steal your look, only with the creepiest of expressions.

I mean honestly, look at those crazy eyes of pic 4. Would you trust yourself if you looked at you like that!?

[jimmy-carmine]

So, I ran the Presage exotic mission for the first time today, loving the atmospheric horror of exploring a derelict and having environmental sounds unsettling me as I move between combat encounters. Also, another chance to screengrab my Titan looking all cool and tryhard in his leather jacket and Iron Lords armour.

Was not expecting the crazy amounts of body horror at the finale of the mission. That poor poor guardian...

Still, I got a cool new gun out of it

[jimmy-carmine]

Been hanging around the EDZ a lot today in between completing some missions and running Nightfalls. I love the aesthetic of this patrol zone, and really wish I had been playing pre-vaulting so I could have seen this during the Red War and all the extra content that's now missing. Would have been nice to get my hands on the Dead Zone Foliage back when it was available, I mean look at it!

I kind of love the idea of my Titan slapping some woodland camo on his armour and spending his freetime in the EDZ just patrolling and clearing out areas of Red Legion and Fallen forces. Doing his bit for Devrim's dream of a second city forming up around the Farm.

Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll come the Eververse or Eva-1 in the weekely shader sales.